Silent Night
I laid there, my clothes drenched with sweat; too engulfed by the overwhelming tornado of thoughts gushing in my mind. Turning the key chain in my hand over and over again, i stared at the yellow duck hanging at its end. Black eyes, laughing beak- reminding me of Adam himself. How happy he used to be, how always cheerful and bubbling with energy that he used to drain everyone else of their own. Like a black hole, he used to plunge everyone into in his own world of carelessness, where prevalent rainbows existed, never ceasing to exist; where flowers of all kinds and all colours of the spectrum over them lived. A world of a unique kind of tranquility, a pristine, imperishable beauty was of Adam's.
Adam used to make other forget of the world that actually existed, polluted with greed, where money reigned, and everyone else deity was their own self.
A world that robbed us of our only ray of glee - Adam.
An involuntary sigh left my mouth, as i gaped at the key chain.
My eyes stung from the stream of tears as if it were striking the walls of the dam that my mind had created.
If i let them out, and emancipate them from the delicate cage of my eyes, it will all be too much and i am afraid i wont stop.
I closed my eyes and a bead of tear did manage to escape after all and the first thing that i saw was his eyes; huge and observant like that of a child's. My palm craved the warmth of his skin like when he held my hand as i stood in front of a myriad of rubble- what was let of my house after being attacked.
His hands careful, like that of an artist.
His words a spectrum, like a stroke of color on gray canvas that was my life- dull.
He was my family
He was my everything
And now he is no more.
Adam used to make other forget of the world that actually existed, polluted with greed, where money reigned, and everyone else deity was their own self.
A world that robbed us of our only ray of glee - Adam.
An involuntary sigh left my mouth, as i gaped at the key chain.
My eyes stung from the stream of tears as if it were striking the walls of the dam that my mind had created.
If i let them out, and emancipate them from the delicate cage of my eyes, it will all be too much and i am afraid i wont stop.
I closed my eyes and a bead of tear did manage to escape after all and the first thing that i saw was his eyes; huge and observant like that of a child's. My palm craved the warmth of his skin like when he held my hand as i stood in front of a myriad of rubble- what was let of my house after being attacked.
His hands careful, like that of an artist.
His words a spectrum, like a stroke of color on gray canvas that was my life- dull.
He was my family
He was my everything
And now he is no more.
The Girl on the Edge
I stayed there precariously
One move forwards and i will be flying down the colossal mountain with its deadly beauty of jagged and rugged surface, matted with snow.
The wind flapped my dress back and forth, being ever so unfriendly and indecisive- as if telling me it is my choice and my choice only. Whether i would end this agony, or live another day of finding the lost hope i had yet to find
I moved one step back
My feet had left a curve on the soil where they trodden it. It was an eerie curve, as if the ground was throwing a scathing sneer at me. Telling me as if it was needed, what a coward i am.
I looked up at the sky that mirrored my emotions- gray and sorrowful.
I let out a breath, which came tortuously as ever- cutting at my throat.
"Hey! Woah- careful!"
My heart did a futile somersault and my stomach lurched. I turned on my heels to look at the oncoming figure of a familiar fellow with a careful gait.
Ray's green eyes flickered in front of me. His brown hair was tousled and swept carelessly at one side by the wind. He jolted to a stop in front of me- his cheeks flushed.
"Come on, now." He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, his eyes pleading.
Averting my gaze, i looked down. Giving in, I made my way over to the camp with Ray beside me, his hand never left my shoulder. He never left me.
One move forwards and i will be flying down the colossal mountain with its deadly beauty of jagged and rugged surface, matted with snow.
The wind flapped my dress back and forth, being ever so unfriendly and indecisive- as if telling me it is my choice and my choice only. Whether i would end this agony, or live another day of finding the lost hope i had yet to find
I moved one step back
My feet had left a curve on the soil where they trodden it. It was an eerie curve, as if the ground was throwing a scathing sneer at me. Telling me as if it was needed, what a coward i am.
I looked up at the sky that mirrored my emotions- gray and sorrowful.
I let out a breath, which came tortuously as ever- cutting at my throat.
"Hey! Woah- careful!"
My heart did a futile somersault and my stomach lurched. I turned on my heels to look at the oncoming figure of a familiar fellow with a careful gait.
Ray's green eyes flickered in front of me. His brown hair was tousled and swept carelessly at one side by the wind. He jolted to a stop in front of me- his cheeks flushed.
"Come on, now." He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, his eyes pleading.
Averting my gaze, i looked down. Giving in, I made my way over to the camp with Ray beside me, his hand never left my shoulder. He never left me.
Feelings have feelings too
I didn't think until now that breathing, smiling genuinely, laughing with all my heart were, after all, luxuries.
Luxuries that only make you realize their worth, punishing you, averting their head from your direction when you take them so carelessly for granted
I guess feelings have feelings too.
Then there is hopelessness, sadness, insecurity, waiting for their turn to get attention
Waiting for their time when we would embrace them warmly. Mark them a part of us.
Petting them, nurturing them, feeding them our soul, which those parasitic feelings devour
But the cruelest is numbness
The narcissist
That needs all the attention for itself
It shoves everyone off the couch
Putting its cold arms around you
Wanting you for itself and only itself.
As you drown in the abyss that gradually prevails and conquers.
Spreading through your whole body
Where not even tears flow
Limbs not allowed to move
Eyes daring not to blink
As you keep lying with numbness as your sole, selfish companion
and the whole world vanishes
27th July 2015
Luxuries that only make you realize their worth, punishing you, averting their head from your direction when you take them so carelessly for granted
I guess feelings have feelings too.
Then there is hopelessness, sadness, insecurity, waiting for their turn to get attention
Waiting for their time when we would embrace them warmly. Mark them a part of us.
Petting them, nurturing them, feeding them our soul, which those parasitic feelings devour
But the cruelest is numbness
The narcissist
That needs all the attention for itself
It shoves everyone off the couch
Putting its cold arms around you
Wanting you for itself and only itself.
As you drown in the abyss that gradually prevails and conquers.
Spreading through your whole body
Where not even tears flow
Limbs not allowed to move
Eyes daring not to blink
As you keep lying with numbness as your sole, selfish companion
and the whole world vanishes
27th July 2015